What do the BNP and global warming have in common?

I was walking through a shopping mall yesterday to be confronted by yet another “Stop Global Warming” performance. This one happened to involve three MC’s, six massive speakers, video screens and a raffle. What it actually did to help I don’t know, but as a convenient aside it served as excellent promotion for a local radio station that had their name plastered all over the stage.

Meanwhile, local supermarkets are selling T-shirts that say “Green please” and offer bags that degrade over a year or so. Again, quite how this helps to reverse the effects of CO2 emission I have no idea, but it doesn’t harm sales for the supermarket.

Let’s face it people, we all know what this comes down to. It’s about letting ourselves off the hook. Convincing ourselves that we are good, caring, conscious people in the cheapest and easiest way possible.

Let’s look at our choices. To really do something to fight CO2 we can start by investing huge amounts in solar panels like Al Gore or – if that is too expensive – we can reduce our electricity consumption by never using a home computer to log on to Facebook, never watching TV or playing music at home again.

But of course when we say “we care” it’s important to understand that we mean: “I care, as long as it doesn’t create the slightest inconvenience for me” kind of “care”, right?

So what’s the solution? Simple, we pay lip service. We attend a rock concert filled with performers who honestly just want to stop global warming, the extra publicity and chic appeal has nothing to do with it. We shop at “green” supermarkets run by corporate conglomerates who have suddenly had a huge change of heart and put environmental concerns over and above profits, and as such they will use degradable bags to save the world. Finally, of course, we all give ourselves the cheapest possible karma hit possible: we click a button and join a facebook group called “Stop global warming! Save the polar bears!” because by clicking that button on a mouse we become honourable people!

OK, so China and India are still destroying an iceberg a day making goods that are cheap enough for us to import, but we’ve done our bit to help…….

So that’s the environmental section covered, but what about morals? What can we do to give ourselves a cheap and easy way to hold our head high, tell grandma Edna how good their grandchildren have been and make sure everyone at work knows just how moral and wholesome we are?

That’s easy, just join a group to bash the BNP! I mean, the BNP are racist aren’t they? They must be evil! I mean, didn’t you see that Griffin guy talking on Newsnight? He said Islam wasn’t a peaceful religion! What a racist bunch of pigs they are! (I know, I know, Islam isn’t a race but nobody will notice!)

So if you want a really easy, cheap, totally effortless way to make sure everyone knows you are a good person, then bash the BNP. You can do it in all the same ways you do with the ‘global warming’ thing. Go to a concert with a heroin addict and cheating boyfriend as headliner, click a button on Facebook, or join a group like the UAF. The latter is particularly fun because you get to scream hate, disrupt other people’s lives and occasionally even assault someone and it’s all OK because you are doing it with justification!

Getting the press involved is another good one. When it comes to the BNP, the tabloid press love to show that they care about people, truth and integrity by running down the BNP. If you’re lucky, you might even get a back slap from Gordon “Billions of pounds to invade Iraq over a pack of lies” Brown, who will tell you what a guardian of liberty you are.

You can call them anything you want to get your point across, you can describe them as “Scum of the Earth“, “The barrel scrapings of humanity” (copyright Jeremy Jackson, who has disappeared from our debate half way through) , “evil” etc. It really doesn’t matter as long as you make the point you are better than them. You can also bring up the “violence” thing, it actually accounts for less than one percent of the group but that’s enough to make the point isn’t it? Anyway, who cares? They’re just a bunch of prejudiced bigots!

So roll on down and get your cheap karma shot. There will still be paedophiles, muggers, rapists, murderers, terrorists and drug dealers roaming the streets (and actually the BNP really want to do something about all those people and they even have a sensible global warming policy)  but that’s not your problem. You joined a group that said “Stop the BNP” , and you even left a message saying how bad they were. You’re a truly moral person and you should feel good about yourself. And whoever thought it would be so easy?


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